Updated: Feb 24
you are just a bit unhealed.
I heard a woman talking recently about a relative that irritates her, and I thought, "That's your stuff." If someone else's behavior - unless they are kicking puppies - makes you angry, it's your stuff. Even if the person is not particularly nice, it's still your stuff.Even if it's Donald Trump or Elizabeth Warren or fill-in-the-blank politician. Yes, really.
Psychologists who react to clients call the reaction "countertransference" but I'd call it - "Get to work and clear your stuff!" When you clear out the residual effects of the traumas - adverse childhood experiences, etc - of your life, you stop having negative reactions and then, of course, you can be judgment free and fully present for your clients, and you should be, if you want to help them.
When something triggers a negative reaction, that something doesn't have to change (although it might be nice), your response does. That something is just pointing to something in you that you need to work on and heal. And that's ok. We all have stuff because we are human and life can be hard. No shame, just a need for healing, which can be done pretty easily with EFT, which I try to use every day.
Recently, I had a negative reaction to something and started to spiral downwards into negative self talk, then I remembered - duh! I can tap on this, and I did, and I released it. It was my stuff. Yes, it was triggered by someone else's behavior or my perception of it but it was my stuff. I am now in control of myself, my emotions and my thoughts around it. And you know how that feels? Great. Beautiful. Spiritual. Heavenly. Mature. Healed.